Intertwined Mishaps

Chaos and panic
Emaciated they strut
Horses in the hood


(this is in response to a recent news report about someone abandoning dozens of emaciated horses in the roads of a nearby extremely impoverished and violent neighborhood)

I love the way your name feels on my lips
But I bet I'd love the way you feel on my lips more
But I can only imagine, for now
Leave her and join me and let me experience you
And you can be the first to experience me

Slipping out of your lips, words and breath
I won’t forget those words, not even at my death
And for a second I forgot you weren’t mine
I would love to save that second, freeze it in time

This is different
I have never had this reaction before
Foreign to my me, to my body
I hear your voice and get chills
Good chills
You look at me and my insides flutter
My heart is jammed in my throat
You talk to me
And I just nod because I can't talk
I can't breathe
I blush and sweat and smile
You wink and I melt
I fucking melt

Eyes on me
Your eyes on me
Blood rushes to my cheeks
I'm flattered
But you're taken
Don't play with me
Don't tease me
I've been here before
Either make a move or
Leave me alone
Break my heart if you have to
Be blunt and rude
Make me hate you
Anything to help me
Get you or forget you

This is for you
All of this
The clothes and the flare and the make-up and the hair
This if for you
All of this
The smiles and the cares and the looks that turn to stares
This is for you
All of this
The racing and the beating and the trembling and the bleeding
This is for you
All of this
The worries and the concern and the doubting of your return
This is for you
All of this
The tears and the sleepless nights and the dreams and the fights
This is for you
All of this
The concerned looks and rolled eyes and the lectures and the sighs

They’re telling me to run away
It’s not a good idea to be in love with you
I understand the words but, honestly,
The feeling behind them is moot
And if my heart gets broken I’ll only have myself to blame
I love you and I don’t think you even know my name
So I sit alone at night creating a plan
To seduce a married man

I’m not saying that it’s right
Because I know that is wrong
There’s no use in lying
When you’ve done it for so long
And it’s the oldest story in the book
It all started with a stolen look
Don’t think I don’t understand
It’s wrong to love a married man

You’re just across the room
And it’s really hard not to stare
But I don’t want you to know
Even though I’m sure that you’re aware
And I’m just woman with a schoolgirl crush
And I believe I can keep things hush-hush
If you would give me a chance I’ll show you I can
Keep a secret and love a married man

Turn me away I’m a monster
Don’t know why I’m acting this way
Despite my parents past, what they’ve both done wrong
This just isn’t the way I was raised
So push me away turn me down
Tell me that I better get out of town
Tell me there’s no way that you can
Let me love you, a married man

I’m sorry that you see it that way
Yes, I know that it’s wrong
No matter what I’m doing, what I’ve done
It’s been in the back of mind my mind all along
But I can’t erase my past
I can only learn from my mistakes
I know the stakes are high
But you don’t know the strength it takes
To tell someone that you love
That this love was never right
And it was all their fault after all
Why did they kiss you that one night?
But I would never say that
Because both of us are to blame
He might have started it
But it takes two to play the game
I didn’t exactly tell him no
I know, now, that I should’ve went ahead
And pushed him off of me
And turned away and fled
But his lips felt so right
Pressed against my own
With his hands on my skin
And the thrill of being alone
Judge me all you want
Cuz we’d all like to say that we
Wouldn’t be as weak as I was
That we’d do what’s right morally
I hope that one day
You’ll finally fall in the love
And you think they’re just perfect
Like an angel from above
But they belong to another
And I hope that they persist
And pursue you endlessly
Until one night you two kiss
And you can’t control yourself
Because you’re heart is racing fast
And you don’t worry about the future
And you forget about you’re past
But until you’re in that place
In their arms and you can’t help but feel
That this is what home feels like
And that this love is truly real
You can never shake your head
Wag your finger in my face
Tell me what’s right from wrong
Or put me in my place
You don’t know what it’s like
And I can’t make you understand
How horrible it is
To be in love with a married man

Earth parts and one falls in
One, not two
Swirls like dark paint, up and down
Just a matter of time
Flowers crumble into ashes
Salty rain and shrieking thunder
The Earth closes
Darkness for one
One, not two

My head on your chest
Moving in a current of up and down rhythmic breaths
Your right hand on the small of my back
My right arm over your midsection
You trace my face with your left forefinger
And linger on my lips
I slowly raise me body so we're face to face
I hover just for a second to make you kiss me
I'm not at fault if you kiss me
That's what they've been telling me
It's a soft, romantic kiss and my heart flutters
I lay my head on your chest to hear your heart racing as well
I hear music in the background
I wake up
Such a crushing dream

You thought I was a child
I thought you were a man
I guess we both were wrong

She says it like it's a bad thing
I'm over being brainwashed
Having to choose a side
If you would ask me now I would choose him
He protected me, not you
He taught me how to be an adult, not you
I broke his heart once but never again
I still can't forgive you
Not right now
For pinning me against him
And I haven't forgiven myself
For falling for your insanity

Sometimes a fear grips me
I recognize that I am partly you
A swift movement or the tone in my voice
And I freeze
Knowing exactly who I'm imitating
Mimicking
I get sick to my stomach
Not because I don't love you
I just don't want to be you

You’re waiting for an apology when I’ve done nothing wrong
We can only ignore each other for so long
Neither of us wants budge
Neither of us wants to give in
I know you can hold a grudge
I know living together isn’t livin’

I wish I had never given you that gift
I opened up my heart and you ripped it to bits
All I want is to please you no matter how sick it may sound
Now all I have is silence and it’s shaking the ground

I know you have issues, hell don’t we all
Some aren’t as big as yours but eventually even the mighty have to fall
Do you want to go on this way?
Silence and diverted eyes
Ghosts passing in the hallway
Now that I’ve ripped away your disguise

I wish I had never given you that gift
I opened up my heart and you ripped it to bits
All I want is to please you no matter how sick it may sound
Now all I have is silence and it’s shaking the ground

And I’m hurting like you
Can’t we just talk like we used to
Where did it all go wrong?
You’re pushing me away
Maybe that’s what you want
So it’s easier for us to part ways

I wish I had never given you that gift
I opened up my heart and you ripped it to bits
All I want is to please you no matter how sick it may sound
Now all I have is silence and it’s shaking the ground
Now all I have is silence and it’s shaking the ground

Words flowing
Incomprehensible to my foreign ears
Jagged movements and hands in the air
Dozens of screams that last for minutes
A figure in the center
Pushing to get closer
Bright lights and vibrations on the floor
Bouncing bodies and sticky ground
Figure smiles and walks away

You’re just wasting your time with all this nonsense
You only got one life to live
You’re using it to fight, complain, and steal
When the goal of life is to see how much love you can give

I stare at the brown river and my heart just falls out
Still beating on the ground
Causing an earthquake
I bend to pick it up but my quivering hands can't quite grasp it
And the rocking earth prevents me from standing still
It rolls underneath a rose bush
And I say, "What a cliche? Surely I'll be cut by these thorns."
Instead the bush turned to ice and my hands froze inches away from my beating heart
Just out of my reach and I use my last breath to sigh