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Tuesday, September 4, 2012

My breaths have always been heavy
And my heart
My heart, well,
it beats in a minor chord
Dark but beautiful
I have never been happy
I have tasted it
Sweet
Sweet
Dripping from my lips
But never being absorbed
Inhaled
Digested
I don't see me as dark
I don't see me as sad
Or lonesome
Or depressed
I see me as haunted
Haunted
By others mistakes
My own
I can feel it all
So thick at night
Crushing
Sleep never came easy
Nightmares while awake
Such a feat
I don't require pity
Or saving
I long for peace
Just peace

Tainted

Haunted thoughts
Hidden in those dark crevices
A taste of happiness is tainted
Feeling
Knowing
What's right around the corner
I am elevated only to be slammed
Down
Down
Haunted thoughts
Leave me alone.

Ice Cold


When morning comes, will you be here?
Will I still be in your hold?
And do you mind, since you’re here
If I put my feet under yours if they get cold?
Oh, oh I know that chances are you’ll go
I will be left all hollow and here alone
Wrapped in my own arms with ice cold feet

Will you pretty please talk to me now?
Tell me everything about you
Baby, please, tell me now
Tell me every single thing until you’re through
Oh, oh I know chances are you won’t speak
I will be left all alone shaken and weak
Talking to myself, keeping myself company

When the end comes and darkness nears
Will you be there with me?
And do you think, if you’re there
If you’ll be my eyes when I can no longer see?
Oh, oh I know chances are you won’t be around
I will be left blind only with my sound
Confused and terrified I will die alone

Fire


Breathe in all the smoke, feel it burning in my lungs
How can you think that I could save you?
Skin’s on fire and I’m ready to get out of here
What did you think I could do for you?
My fingers are moving a mile a minute trying to break you free
Trembling as time is fading and you put your mouth right on me
Somebody’s knocking, maybe I’m paranoid, maybe it’s just my heart
Or maybe it’s just my brain, after all, it’s hard to tell the two apart

Oh, oh let’s burn this place down
Watch the flames lick the walls
No, no there’s no escape now
Come, come and fall

The heat is blazing, we’re black and blue sweating on the floor
How could you think this was the end?
I’m aching, out of breath, and shaking
We could help each other mend
But you pull and I scratch and you squeeze and I tug
As we begin to take a match to the bathroom rug
Somebody’s calling, maybe I’m paranoid, maybe it’s all in my head
Why put the fire out when we can feed it instead?

Oh, oh let’s burn this place down
Watch the flames lick the walls
No, no there’s no escape now
Come, come and fall

Enough


I want to be beautiful, I want to go really far
I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I want to set the bar
I want to the kiss the moon while standing on the ground
I want to be quiet sometimes, not feel that I need to make a sound
When will I be enough for you
When will I be enough
I want to be your everything, I want to feel whole
I want to feel you, your body and your soul
I want to kiss the sky while lying in my bed
No, I want to kiss the sky while in your arms instead
When will I be enough for you
When will I be enough
I want climb a mountain, I want to swim the sea
I want you to want to come along with me
I want to run forever without being out of breath
I want to live my life without being afraid of death
I want to be the one you kiss every day
I want to be the one who makes you want to stay
I want time to stand still, I want to slow down
I want  to let myself fall but I will never let myself drown
I want you beside me, I want to be your such and such
I just want your love, baby, is that too much?
When will I be enough for you
When will I be enough
When will I be enough for you
When will I be enough

Day By Day


I’m not looking for a handout
I’m not looking for charity
I know that I am nothing new
I know I’m not a rarity
I’m just trying to be me
Whoever that may be
Just trying to get along day by day
I’m not in it for the fame
Or for you all to know my name
Just trying to be content with okay

And if love never comes
If my heart is always still
I will forever carry hope
That one day it will
Be mine to have and hold
To warm me when I am cold
To help me get along day by day
I’m not in it for the moon
But I pray that it comes soon
And that it will forever stay

Crash


Open your mouth, breath me in
Let the taste on your tongue be my skin
The world has stopped just for you and I
So we can melt, so you can take me high
I inhale you you’re such a delicious drug
You’re so addictive I just can’t get enough
So I try to overdose on your kiss
I've never craved anything more than this


The sun seems to be shining brighter than usual, it could just be my eyes
They can’t seem to focus on anything but you, I’ve realized
I have never felt so clean as I do in between the time when day melts into night
I have never felt more alive as I do with you, I have never more right

I feel the wind pick up, the storm is coming and, for once, I don’t care
All the lightning and the thunder, the howling wind and pouring rain mean nothing to me, I swear
It can try to break us down, knock over the walls and wreck this town
But I can’t feel the rain or hear the sound as long as you’re around

Sugar


Sweet, my sweet
You’re like sugar on my tongue
Lightning in my fingertips
Honey oxygen inside my lungs
My blood has never rushed this fast
I feel it everywhere it goes
A crimson current to prove life
Swirling love inside my toes

Blew It


I was lost, I was lost in time
And I was trapped in my own mind
Had the chance to make you mine
But I blew it, I blew it
I wasn’t strong, then again, how could I be
When you nearly had what I thought was all of me
I never had a chance at being free
And you knew it, you knew it

I lost myself in the thought of you
In the thought of us, in a moment of truth
In the heat of the night and out of spite
I said goodbye

I chose to stand next to the sea
And at one time I prayed it would swallow me
What’s a human with no identity?
I chose it, I chose it
I ran away from my past and thought I had won
As I raised my dusty palms to the sun
My victory ended as soon as it had begun
G-d knows it, G-d knows it

I lost myself in the thought of you
In the thought of us, in a moment of truth
In the heat of the night and out of spite
I said goodbye

Loneliness is in my bones
Now that I am all alone
A masochist who hates the pain
I try to drain you from my veins

I lost myself in the thought of you
In the thought of us, in a moment of truth
In the heat of the night and out of spite
I said goodbye

Charmed


Questions fill my mind and worry fills my eyes
I just don’t understand just how you feel
You call me beautiful and ask me to dance
I can’t tell the reveries from the real
And I’m caught up in your charm and your disguise
I’m caught between the stupid and the wise
Don’t you think maybe we can get by on fate’s sweet surprise?
Or maybe beautiful lies?

I’ve never been anything anyone would want
I’m not used to the role I’ve been suddenly placed
The confusion, the haze in my eyes and my heart
All the sweet dilemmas I have been faced
And I’m caught up in your charm and your disguise
I’m caught between the stupid and the wise
Don’t you think maybe we can get by on fate’s sweet surprise?
Or maybe beautiful lies?

Maybe it’s true and I mean something to you
But I’ve never meant anything before
So this is all new and I don’t know what to do
It’s hard to admit I’ve never wanted anything more
And I’m caught up in your charm and your disguise
I’m caught between the stupid and the wise
Don’t you think maybe we can get by on fate’s sweet surprise?
Or maybe beautiful lies

Summer Ends


These city lights aren’t shining quite as bright as I thought they would
They’re nothing compared to the stars in your eyes
You’re getting dressed in the back of my tiny apartment in a drafty spot
I play a sad song and beg and plead for you to tell me beautiful lies

August is over and you’re not falling in love will fall
And we are over when summer ended autumn ended it all

There’s this chill in the air it digs in deep and sticks in your bones
The tourists all migrating back to wherever the hell they came
Fill your suitcase with stacks of memories you’ll throw at as soon as you’re home
You’ll remember these city lights longer than you’ll ever remember my name

August is over and you’re not falling in love will fall
And we are over when summer ended autumn ended it all

The sun is setting, the horizon looks closer and closer with each day
Maybe I could reach it if September didn’t come to take you away

August is over and you’re not falling in love will fall
And we are over when summer ended autumn ended it all

Beautiful


You sang these songs that spoke to me
And I ate up every single fucking word
So you lied, such beautiful lies
The most gorgeous of lies that I had ever heard


I hope you didn’t see
The hope seeping out of me
I hope you didn’t see me cry
I try to be so strong
My damn heart is always wrong
And my head is rarely right
Dizzy on my heels and weak in my knees
I fall in the grass and stare up at trees
I lie to myself and deny all that’s true
Tell my heart it’s a snake and to stop beating for you

There are cracks in these walls
That allow me to fall
Again and again and again
It’s so hard to stand still
When no one else will
So I just fall again and again

Pulled down into the sea
Just to lose me
To lose everything I became
To be lost in a wave
Is the one thing I crave
Instead, here I am, whispering your name
Falling through time can be so divine
Falling in love is choosing to resign
To someone who will never know who you are
No matter how close, no matter how far

There are cracks in these walls
That allow me to fall
Again and again and again
It’s so hard to stand still
When no one else will
So I just fall again and again

Crazy


Do you think I’m crazy?
Yeah, you probably do
I can’t say I’d blame you
After all we’ve been through
I try to tell myself
Everything good ends
Why can’t we be more
Than just lovely friends?
I don’t think you get it, I don’t you think you see
How it makes me feel when you don’t see me
I just have this feeling in the pit of my soul
That I’ll never get the pieces back that you stole

Kiss me tell me we’re okay
Tell me you think about me every second every day
Play me a love song just to tell me how you feel
Let me know that this is real

Do you think I’m scared?
Yeah. You’re probably right
I’m terrified of getting hurt
Each and every night
I try to tell myself
That it’s all in my head
But I can’t help but think
I’ll be let down instead
I don’t think you get it, I don’t you think you see
How it makes me feel when you don’t see me
I just have this feeling in the pit of my soul
That I’ll never get the pieces back that you stole

Kiss me tell me we’re okay
Tell me you think about me every second every day
Play me a love song just to tell me how you feel
Let me know that this is real

I know I’m not perfect, I’m not even close
Can I be the one that you want the most?
Can you just tell me straight yes or no

Kiss me tell me we’re okay
Tell me you think about me every second every day
Play me a love song just to tell me how you feel
Let me know that this is real