Intertwined Mishaps

No words are needed
when I can listen to your heart.
The beats are loud and strong.
A beautiful song from your chest.

No words are needed
when I can feel my heart racing.
You try to listen but you cannot hear.
It's the fear that is hiding my tempo.

Feeling the heaviness in my bed
On my pillow, another head
Not a single word said
I love you.

Dreams of your hands
tracing my imperfections.
Dreams of your lips
kissing the wounds.
I am awake.
I am awake.

You call me beautiful
and you have this look in your
blue, green, hazel eyes
that makes me believe you.
I'm probably a fool.

My breaths have always been heavy
And my heart
My heart, well,
it beats in a minor chord
Dark but beautiful
I have never been happy
I have tasted it
Sweet
Sweet
Dripping from my lips
But never being absorbed
Inhaled
Digested
I don't see me as dark
I don't see me as sad
Or lonesome
Or depressed
I see me as haunted
Haunted
By others mistakes
My own
I can feel it all
So thick at night
Crushing
Sleep never came easy
Nightmares while awake
Such a feat
I don't require pity
Or saving
I long for peace
Just peace

Haunted thoughts
Hidden in those dark crevices
A taste of happiness is tainted
Feeling
Knowing
What's right around the corner
I am elevated only to be slammed
Down
Down
Haunted thoughts
Leave me alone.

My heart races
It's pounding beneath my rib cage
Funny thing: a rib cage
Meant to protect your heart from getting hurt
But what happens when the pain isn't physical?
What good is a rib cage to me then?

don't let go
hold onto my heart
feel it beating in your palm
don't you dare break it apart
don't let go
even when it starts to sting
learn to just love the pain
it can change everything
don't let go

If I can't fall asleep would you forgive me?
Because you're better than any possible dream
If I lay here on your chest could you forget the rest
And just try your very best
Never let me feel alone again
Never let me shiver from the wind
Never let such a good thing end
Can you try your best for me?

If I kiss your lips would you grab me by the hips
And watch the world with me as it slips?
And if I say three words what will I get in return?
Will you turn to ice or will we burn?
Never let me feel alone again
Never let me shiver from the wind
Never let such a good thing end
Can you try your best for me?

What would you say if I could find a way
To interlock hands and allow you to stay
What would you do if I said I choose you?
Would you tell me you feel the same, too?
Never let me feel alone again
Never let me shiver from the wind
Never let such a good thing end
Can you try your best for me?

It's not a denial, it's not a confirmation
You try so hard to avoid the conversation
I put it all out there, I took a breath and I took the dive
I still got hurt but I also am still alive

I am so lost
Was it something I said?
Were we ever alive
To really be dead?
Confusion comes easy these days

A whirlwind beginning
Caught us both in the air
I always chose truth
While you always took dare
Confusion comes easy these days

One wrong move
Your queen is taken away
To live in solitude
And pretend she's okay
Confusion comes easy these days

And I spew out apologies
That I shouldn't have to make
As you sit shrouded
Reluctantly admitting your mistake
Confusion comes easy these days

My brain is my nemesis
Something warns me to flee
Telling me that you are
Stealing the best out of me
Confusion comes easy these days

But I hand you the olive branch
I try to make amends
Are we nothing more
Than haphazard friends?
Confusion comes easy these day

Opened up
Safety in the thought of you
Us
The mind can be torture
Bliss
Imprisonment
Freedom
Entangled, enraptured
My heart can't decide
My mind is no help
My gut is silent
Intuition ran away
You, us
We

Sidewalk is cracked
Shattered in fact
It’s just another thing that I can’t fix
You take my hand
Ask me to understand
It’s just another one of the heart’s little tricks
You’ve been waiting for someone to save you for quite some time now
I promise if I could I would try to find a way somehow

Oh, baby, I’m not a hero
I can’t even save myself
I’m just your number one zero
You have me confused with somebody else

You don’t beg, I can see it in your eyes
You think your smile is such a good disguise
You think I won’t catch on to what you desire
I can help you pick up the pieces
But I cannot smooth out the creases
No matter how hard I try, I cannot put out that fire

Oh, baby, I’m not a hero
I can’t even save myself
I’m just your number one zero
You have me confused with somebody else

I can kiss you, tell you sweet lies
Like everything will be all right
Truth is I want to be what you need
But I can’t save you, no, not tonight

Oh, baby, I’m not a hero
I can’t even save myself
I’m just your number one zero
You have me confused with somebody else
Oh, baby, I’m not a hero
I can’t even save myself
I’m just your number one zero
You have me confused with somebody else
With somebody else, with somebody else
With somebody, somebody

Sidewalk is cracked
Shattered in fact
It’s just another thing that I can’t fix

I wait for the sound
The crash, the calamity
Of reality hitting the ground

I wait for the noise
The chaos, the explosion
Of all consciousness destroys

Is this all there is? Is there nothing more?
Is there no destruction or disaster in store?
I'm not use to quiet, tranquility is as foreign to me
As love in light or in dark or the joys of being free

No one smiles quite like you do
Do you think I could smile with you?
The clouds are gray but the sky is blue
Let’s go wherever your hands lead you
I am willing and I am waiting
I am thunder and I am rain
I am shaking and I am quaking
I am pleasure and I am pain

The air thick with sweet and sour tension
Stuck between us with wire suspension
I’m giving you my undivided attention
Because we both know my intentions
I am willing and I am waiting
I am thunder and I am rain
I am shaking and I am quaking
I am pleasure and I am pain

Don’t think too much, put your mind at ease
I am only here to please
Don’t think too much, put your mind to rest
I am willing to give you my best

I am willing and I am waiting
I am thunder and I am rain
I am shaking and I am quaking
I am pleasure and I am pain

You clear your throat
Loudly
Trying to get my attention
I force myself to not look
That's all you want
My attention
You never intended for anything more
You smiled
You talked
You touched
But you were just playing
Child's play and nothing more
You just wanted my attention
I won't give it to you
I won't give in

She cries at romantic comedies wishing it were her life
Instead of the drama that it is
She does it to herself; she’s unhappy but unwilling to change anything
She laughs loudly and nervously
She’s been found out