Intertwined Mishaps

A Spark (in response to Matisyahu's "One Day")

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:25:00 +0000

A spark
One little spark
Shines through the night
Shines through the dark
A spark
That exudes peace and love
That emits happiness and hope
A ceaseless ember above
If one little spark
Can light the way
What would happen
If we all shined today?
No time like the present
To forgive the past
Teach a new generation
Peace has come at last
Put down the daggers
Put down the guns
Sisters and daughters
Brothers and sons
Walk away from the hate
Walk away from the rage
Time to learn tolerance
It's the dawn of a new age
Let negativity leave
Let it drown in the sea
Let one race rise
The race of humanity
Join hands at last
Let ignorance go
Once we do this
Then we will know
True love
True peace
From the United States
To the Middle East
Join in on the movement
One love for all man
What thousands of years haven't taught us
One day can

The Show

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:40:00 +0000

I try to hide behind this mask of peace
Don’t wanna unleash
The anger inside of me
I try to please everyone
Impossible goal
I paste a smile on my face so nobody knows
It’s just a show
Just a show
Nobody knows
This ain’t me, no
Take another drink to forget about the past
Just relax
It happened so fast
Maybe at last
I can let it go
I can let it flow
I can let it go
It’s just a show
Just a show
Nobody knows
This ain’t me, no, no
Twenty-one almost twenty-two
I don’t know what to even do
Got something to prove
To no one but you
Myself? No so much
I could care less about such
Things that you could have
Like Midas touch
Turning hearts into gold
But I’ve been told
Love can’t be sold
It’s just a show
Just a show
Nobody knows
This ain’t me no
It’s just a show
Just a show
Nobody knows
This ain’t me no, no
This ain’t me no, no
This ain’t me no, no

I Am A Dreamer

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:17:00 +0000

Walk away, world’s crumblin’
I keep stumblin’
Tryin’ to keep true to myself, be humble and
Know I hold a heart that’s so fragile and
I have a place in this world so I keep travelin’
Like a lost, poor, and hungry soul, unravelin’
The pieces of my faith that are worth havin’ and
Lookin’ for his face in all that I see
Lookin’ for the answers of just how to be free
It’s just me and HIS Majesty, my deity
Walkin’ ‘cross this lonely land all the way to the sea
Now I see I thought I was lost in many ways
I never laughed, I always cried, never sang any praise
To my G-d who blessed me with all of my days
Helped me see the light at the end of the maze
I was crazy, so lazy
Mind so hazy
From the negativity, now it don’t faze me
Force the darkness out and let the light shine in
Push your ego away and let peace begin
To fill the void that left your soul weakened
Say ‘Yes, I believe’ and let HIS light seep in

Look inside yourself
HE is there
Look inside yourself
HE is there

I’ve turned my back a time or two I’ll admit it
But now I’m dedicated, I’m committed
To turn my life around one step at a time
I once was weak now I’m ready to climb
To climb
Up and above all of the hate
Ready to climb on up and accept my fate
I’ve prayed G-d that it ain’t too late to finally free myself of all of this weight
That’s been put on my shoulders since I was young
It’s a wonder I never picked up a gun
Though it was tempting coming straight from the devil’s tongue
But I pulled myself up rung by rung
To be closer to YOU my G-d, my redeemer
Thanks to YOU I am a dreamer
A believer
In all of your power, all of your glory
I’m ready to accept my life’s story
It’s by your grace that I’ve made it here today
YOU believed in me even as I was led astray
Knew I’d come back some day
And here I am back on my knees and I pray
For forgiveness of all of my sins
And to thank you for all of my losses and all of my wins
And letting me know with every story ending a new one begins
A new chapter, a new life meaning
Thank you for intervening
I wish I could I have no regrets
But I haven’t made peace with my mistakes quite yet
And I know to forgive but to never forget
Forgive myself for getting upset
At you when you weren’t the one to blame
Even then, in my darkest hour you came
To show me the way
To show me the way

Look inside yourself
HE is there
Look inside yourself
HE is there
HE is thereHE is there

Hipocrisy & Such

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:27:00 +0000

I try to walk away quietly
Maybe then they won’t see who I am or who I wanna be
Camouflage with the negativity
Slip away benevolently
Or maliciously
Whatever comes over me
As I flee to the nearest exit to serenity
Beaten paths and I laugh at all the hypocrisy
‘No hate! No, wait, except for you
Cause I hate every tiny little abstract thing you do
From how you comb your hair to how you tie your shoes’
You can’t be for peace and for hatred, too
Pick one side or the other
Don’t say you love and then stab each other
Bend to the ground hold your head, duck for cover
Bout to blow up maybe then you’ll discover
That there’s just one life on Earth you don’t get another
And if you mess up then you’re in trouble brother
Cause ain’t nobody got your back
When every statement for peace you make you retract
Rewind stick in false facts
False hopes, slip through the cracks
All you’re gonna get is flack
From the pack of the others who are just like you
Liars and cheats who got nothin’ else to do
But run their mouths like they gettin’ ready to chew
And I sit and listen to all y’all and know none of it’s true
No one else go my back but myself and you know who
Tearin holes in the skies
Don’t need a disguise
Or lies
Or fireflies
In your eyes
Just catch you by surprise
Just realize
Ain’t no compromisin’ when you’re talking to Him
People been tryin’ that game time and again
Can’t fool Him can’t play games with the King
Cause even if you got your secrets, he knows everything
He knows you’re lying straight through your teeth
He knows what’s going on the outside and underneath
If you try to worship him, try to pick up the pace
But if you’re trying to pull one over on him you’re a disgrace
Cause when judgment day comes and you meet face to face
Best believe that G-d Almighty will put you right in your place

No More

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:46:00 +0000

I’ve tried to lay down so many times
I’ve tried to close my eyes so many times
Tried to fade away so many times
Keep comin back to haunt myself so many times

Try to keep my head above the waves
Crashin round all over the place
Try to stop myself from being a disgrace
But the sea of blood keep’s splashin in my face
I’ve fallen to me knees
Shoutin out my prayers and my pleas
Run down the hills of kings
Just to listen silently
Tore myself from what’s real
Try with all my might just to feel
Somethin that wasn’t pain or fear
Just to feel my heart’s not steel
One beat or two or three
Can’t stop until I feel I am completely free
Of the demons that have captured me
Drown me in the bloody sea

I’ve tried to lay down so many times
I’ve tried to close my eyes so many times
Tried to fade away so many times
Keep comin back to haunt myself so many times

Souls ain’t gone to rest
Still lookin 'round for happiness
Their eagerness
To impress
Someone they ain’t never met
Eyes sunken in and drawn down
Bowed so low their jaws touch the ground
No one can see what they haven’t found
Just a piece of the past, another trip around
To lives they all left behind
To try to find
A sliver of who they were, a fraction of their mind
The wind blows down their naked spines
Winds shriek like their cries
Of utter pain and agony
Of who they were and who they’ll never be
That shadow without the history
Yeah, that’s who I used to be
But now I am here
Flesh and bones with no fear
Able to hear
That no matter how it appears
I’ll always persevere
Cause G-d knows I’m ready to fight
For what’s right
Brand new day
Push away
The very dark of night
Plant my feet square in the light
And let it shine down
From the sky down
I can smile now
But I can also allow
To have my bad days
Days I wanna go away
Pull away
From this maze
That’s when I need to pray
For strength, I’ll be okay

I’ve tried to lay down so many times
I’ve tried to close my eyes so many times
Tried to fade away so many times
Keep comin back to haunt myself so many times
But no more
No more
No more
No more

Piece By Piece

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:57:00 +0000

confused confusion
hazy eyed blind intrusion
wraps around my brain
hemmorhages then contusions
conclusions
there ain't no solutions
just illusions
black and white fusions
they just use us
to come back and abuse us
just useless
think we're useless
and clueless
well newsflash here's their backlash
twenty-one years down the drain
with one quick head bash
and FLASH
gone like lightning
and it's so frightening
that the hate is heightening
so uninviting
what with all of this fighting
just igniting
the shadow started inciting
peace is so flighting
hard to find the silver lining
but a light's still shining
redifining
and redesigning
and reassigning
all of our pining

and I can see peace just around the bend
if we all lend a hand
maybe we can mend
broken promises, broken dreams
dreams that were ripped at the seams
through the darkness
I can say, the light still gleams
positivity envelopes me
push away the demons and you'll see
you will see happiness like never before
if you're still not sure
it's too hard to ignore
push away the darkness and you'll see that your
mind is at ease and your mind is at peace
no more searchin through the dark just to make the pain cease
put your life back together piece by piece

looking for love in the wrong places
the wrong faces
on a need to know basis
just to rip away the laces
get in His good graces
feel His warm embraces
as the light traces
try to find him no matter what your pace is
He's tryin to show the way
if you're scared, well just pray
and know that He's with you every day
when he speaks just do your best to obey
if you slip up, just repent, you'll be okay
don't walk away
you'll learn nothin from strayin
ain't no way to repay him
I'm just sayin
if you're feeling weak, how bout tryin prayin

and I can see peace just around the bend
if we all lend a hand
maybe we can mend broken promises, broken dreams
dreams that were ripped at the seams
through the darkness
I can say, the light still gleams
positivity envelopes me
push away the demons and you'll see
you will see happiness like never before
if you're still not sure
it's too hard to ignore
push away the darkness and you'll see that your
mind is at ease and your mind is at peace
no more searchin through the dark just to make the pain cease
put your life back together piece by piece

Echoes

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 04:57:00 +0000

I am human, I am weak
I listen but you do not speak
Stillness
Thunder
Wind through blades of grass
Your whisper echoes in my ear
But I am deaf, I cannot hear
I am human, I am proud
I look for you behind the cloud
Peace
Serenity
Light in a child's face
You prescence surrounds all of me
But I am blind, I cannot see

The Way

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:55:00 +0000

Wash away the darkness
Wash away the pain
Wash away my sins
Let me live my life again
Show me how to live
Show me how to love
Show me all your glory
That I've been dreaming of

Let me see the way
The way to free my soul
Let me take back the life
The life all the hatred stole
Let me see the light
To lead me homeward bound
When I needed strength
Strength I found
Let me see the way

I had lost my joy
I had lost my happiness
I had lost my life
In a hole of darkness

Let me see the way
The way to free my soul
Let me take back the life
The life all the hatred stole
Let me see the light
To lead me homeward bound
When I needed strength
Strength I found
Let me see the way

If I lose sight again
Of who I am inside
I know I can make it through
With G-d by my side

Let me see the way
The way to free my soul
Let me take back the life
The life all the hatred stole
Let me see the light
To lead me homeward bound
When I needed strength
Strength I found
Let me see the way

Healing

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 02:40:00 +0000

Rise up against the blackness that seaps into my veins
The hatred, that hunger that still remains
Whenever he crosses my mind
Somehow I have to find
The strength within to leave it behind
But the wounds are obvious to me
So fresh but too old for anyone to see
Unless they see my insanity
All the pain stings like electricity
As the volts run through me and into the sea
Of the thousands of millions tears I've cried
G-d knows I really have tried
To push out all this hatred inside

Peace of Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 18:34:00 +0000

Push my arrogance aside
Dry these tears I've cried
Resist the urge to hide
The urge to die
Look up to sky
Bask in His holy light
Holy light
Holy light
Release myself from these chains that bind
And the darkness that had me confined
Let me have some peace of mind
Peace of mind
And I will rise
And I will rise
Rise up to His grace
Even if I'll never see His face
Pray He'll take me from this place
But not before my time
Before my time
I know He has great plans for me
Mapped out my destiny
I'll be whatever he wants me to be
And I'll be free
I'll be free
Freedom just like all the rest
Only comes if you're truly blessed
Pass the test
For His quest
Look beyond visibility
Then you will see
You is third in line to Him and everybody
And you will see
Then you will see
The gravity of His glory
His story
His glory
His story

Mourning Has Broken

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:17:00 +0000

Darkness falls on this burial shroud
And I scream but it's not allowed
Stifled breaths, one man crowd
I knew I'd never make you proud
Broken dreams and crooked lies
Drenched in tears and severed ties
One look through your hazel eyes
No one can if no one tries
Twenty years just tick away
Hearts and hope start to decay
As I beg for you to stay
Glimmering pain shines in the day

Please

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:29:00 +0000

Wrapped around and woven through
Trace the thread right back to you
It's not who you are, it's what you do
It's not about the lies, it's about what's true
I've turned away a time or two
Trying to find other light besides what's in you
But time and again a feeling in me grew
A voice whispered just what I should do
And I jumped off the world and ran towards the sun
Release me from this burden of all that I've done
Free me from my pain, make me whole inside
Dry up this sea from the tears I've cried
And don't ever turn your back on me
Please love me for eternity
And if I stray don't let me go
Please don't let me be alone
Guide me, please try to show me the way
Here I am down on my knees, I pray
That you'll turn it all around, it'll be okay
And that I'll live to see another day
When the seams start to tatter and fray
And my soul seems to just wither away
And they put me in the ground where I'll lay
Take me home to stay
And I'll jump off the world and run towards the sun
Release me from this burden of all that I've done
Free me from my pain, make me whole inside
Dry up this sea from the tears I've cried
And don't ever turn your back on me
Please love me for eternity
And if I stray don't let me go
Please don't let me be alone
And I'll jump off the world and run towards the sun
Release me from this burden of all that I've done
Free me from my pain, make me whole inside
Dry up this sea from the tears I've cried
And don't ever turn your back on me
Please love me for eternity
And if I stray don't let me go
Please don't let me die alone

Explosion

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 04:47:00 +0000

Explosion of emotion
Blaring loud, the commotion
Suddenly got the notion
Rewind then slow motion
As the clock ticks away
I kneel down and I pray
That all of this decay
Leaves before day
Breaks
And the land and the sea
Aren’t left up to just me
To piece up the peace
Just to watch it decrease
As the pain that boils
Comes back and just spoils
All the progress and toils
Strikes and recoils
As the world turns to ashes
It struggles and it thrashes
Up and down mad dashes
To breathe before the crashes
Come
Duck down
To the underground
Just to rebound
To resound
Ain’t no one around
But us
And the dreams that were drowned
In the blood red sea
Just flowin’ around me
Oh what this would be
If we all could just agree
Could just tuck away our fears
And put down the poison spears
Taste each other’s tears
Melt away, disappear
But it’s been all these years
Just stuck in first gear
I can’t wait to hear
That music to my ears
To let me know that one day
All hate will go away
Will be we, not they
That’s how it will stay

Untitled (song)

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:38:00 +0000

You were so young
When it all went down
I wasn’t much older
But I was weaker somehow
I don’t know,
What happened to you
But I do know
There’s nothing I can do
Nothing I can do

I should’ve been there
But I couldn’t stop the pain
I wish I could promise
It won’t happen to you again
And it kills me to think
That I can’t save you
If it returns
There’s nothing I can do

You said what kind of God
Could do this to me?
You said you only trust
The things that you can see
You said I see myself
Just fading away
I start to cry
You tell me it’ll be okay

I should’ve been there
But I couldn’t stop the pain
I wish I could promise
It won’t happen to you again
And it kills me to think
That I can’t save
If it returns
There’s nothing I can do

If I could
I would
Take all of that hurt away
If I could
I would
Find the right words to say

I should’ve been there
But I couldn’t stop the pain
I wish I could promise
It won’t happen to you again
And it kills me to think
That I can’t save
If it returns
There’s nothing I can do

Untitled Piece I'm Still Working On

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:32:00 +0000

Just rockin away from the dark side of my mind
Hope that with this newfound light maybe I might find
The peace that has escaped me for so many years
Erase all the pain, all the struggles, all my fears
Standing in the same place for decades you see
Looking back and trying to sort through my lost history
But there’s just me
And the traces of lost family
Floating freely through all my lost memories
But now I have strength from above that’s within
For once in my life I know exactly where to begin
As I fall down on my knees right into your grace
With your words of peace and healing written all over my face
I’ve finally found my way through all of the hate
That consumed me for so long but it was well worth the wait

Goodbye

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 03:48:00 +0000

Twenty-six minutes and I'm gone
Pack my bags, try to move on
Thirteen voicemails on my phone
Saying I'll never make it alone
Memories on the floor
I can't take it anymore
Bruises that I thought I forgave
Only way to be saved

CAN'T BREATHE

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 04:09:00 +0000

I just love
That the world's on my shoulders
And I cringe
Though I carry the weight
Offer up
All your condolences
Walk away
Before it's too late

And I can't breathe
One more breath for you
And I can't live
Just 'cause you want me to

I wish that they
Would turn away quietly
Fade away
Right into the sun
Two cents in
No sense comes out of it all
All that's said
Has all been said and done

And I can't breathe
One more breath for you
And I can't live
Just 'cause you want me to

If I could
I would run away to the stars
Jump right in
Swim into the dark
If I could
I would run away to the stars
Jump right in
Swim into the dark

And I can't breathe
One more breath for you
And I can't live
Just 'cause you want me to

GUTENNACHT

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:59:00 +0000

inhalation
taste buds fluttering
the sound reverberating
between the refrigerator
and the lock
the door slams steering away eyes
they linger
he lingers menacingly
strong hands and jutting veins
crushed cardboard the fifth thing
she sees
i see nothing

CONFIDENCE IS KEY

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 18 May 2009 03:47:00 +0000

Smooth skin and pouty lips
and brown eyes with long lashes;
Full breasts and rosy cheeks with slight dimples
and the thick brown hair of youth;
Warm hugs from a warm heart
and giving spirit that was taught;
The courage to stand up for beliefs
and the knowledge to choose the battles;
Energy in abundance
and, yet, a calming vibe that exudes;
The ability to make new friends
and the charm to make them stay;
Confidence, confidence is key
and a broad smile to greet the world.

*I needed a booster... I'm not nearly this arrogant.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH EXPECTATIONS

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 18 May 2009 03:43:00 +0000

I expected more than this
I expected a feeling of accomplishment,
of prayers answered,
of goals achieved.
I sit here, and stare at this piece of paper and I
sigh.
I find myself confused about the future
and regretful about the past
and worried that this emptiness
will last forever.
My motivation is gone along with my stamina.

WHY?

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Mon, 18 May 2009 03:18:00 +0000

Why when you walk into the room
does my confidence hide and
cower in fear? What once was
my ego is now air and I
stumble over words and try to
hide my flaws, when just moments
ago I was on top of the world
spinning carefree? My breath
gets stolen from my lungs
as if I was punched in the gut
and I notice your glance at her
and jealousy envelops me and I
feel small like a spec of dust
just floating past you. A nobody
important, just that girl. A mutual
friend means nothing and neither
do my eyes making contact with
yours and you shake my hand,
my hand goodnight, and tell
me it was nice to meet me
although I know you won't
remember me by the morning.
Maybe just that girl, but the name
escapes you but I'm not worth
the thought of what my name
could be and you drink your coffee
and start a new day without the slightest
thought me. But you're the only
thing on my mind.

CEMETARY PRAYERS

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 13 May 2009 01:56:00 +0000

Pink petals on cold stone
as the wind picks up and the
underbelly of the clouds darken
to black. Black like
the crow's feathers and like
pill bugs burrowing into the ground
or rolling in the hand of a child.
Shoe prints in the moist ground that
show me you were here,
maybe moments ago, maybe hours.
I kneel beside the pink velvet
and pray for the storm to pass.

SUMMER HAIKU

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 13 May 2009 01:53:00 +0000

Chlorine stings my eyes
Tears invisible to you
Splash out of the pool

SURVIVAL

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Wed, 13 May 2009 01:49:00 +0000

Gelatinous blob,
a feast for the white beast
whose fangs thirst for blood.
Watching as he rips through the flesh
and pulls out gray meat in his strong
muscular jaws.
Ignores the rotten smell
and ingests his survival.

EMERGENCY ROOM

noreply@blogger.com (Katie) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 03:01:00 +0000

Broken bones surround me
with loud voices and quick steps.
I fade away into the masses.
The masses fade away into me.